Ugh. Just. Can't. Post.

When you haven't blogged for so long...

It's hard to start again. I'm thinking about it. I'll be back soon.

My Grandmother

My grandmother, Constance Elaine Adams Bronson, has passed away at the age of 87. I have so much I want to say about her, yet I cannot seem to get them organized in any decent manner. Excuse me as I type whatever comes out.

In many ways, I think my relationship with her was more like a parent/child relationship than a typical grandparent/child relationship. I was her first grandchild and her only grandchild for 7 1/2 years. I spent a lot of time with her. My parents traveled frequently for work, and I stayed with Grandma and Grandpa many weekends. I remember Grandma going about her daily routines while I was there. It wasn't a situation where there were special activities planned because I was there for a couple of days. Grandma gardened, canned, read and just lived while I was around. I think this was great. It gave me time to explore and play around her house. I roamed the fields and gardens, climbed trees and discovered where all the biggest anthills were. (There were quite a few.) Grandma's mom, GG I called her, lived in the in-law apartment behind Grandma and Grandpa, and I would visit her, too.

Grandma was never one to mince words. She would pretty much tell you what she thought, even if it wasn't pretty. She was strong. I never saw her cry until her mother died. Then, only briefly. I've always been one to cry frequently, so her strong facade was something I envied. However, I do believe it was just a facade, and she probably had some idea that being strong on the outside was the right thing to do. In her later years, she started being weepy at times, and this was startling to me. I'm the weak one who cries over everything, not her! But it showed me that she was touched by the love in our family. She would cry when I talked to her about memories of my childhood and things I remembered about her. She was sometimes emotional when watching my children play, or especially when holding a baby. She cried when I told her that I had named my third child Lily Elaine, the Elaine for her middle name.

The first time I remember her really weeping was a little over three years ago when she had had a stroke while in the hospital. She couldn't speak, but when I walked in the room, she reached out and held my hand and wept and wept. As soon as she could speak again, she told me she loved me. She was not one for spontaneous emotional expressions, so this was something new to me. I think she was scared of dying at that point. She may have realized that she had come close to the end and she wanted to make sure to express things that were left unsaid. Once she had mostly recovered from this spell, she seemed to return to her mostly stalwart self.

Now, she was ready to die. She let us know just after this last Christmas that she did not want any more treatment for her recurring anemia. She was leaving on her terms, choosing to let her life be over. This was hard for some to accept. I wasn't surprised. She made her mind up and did it. I believe that she hoped to make it happen sooner. Once she had made her choice, some days she would lie in bed, not getting up and we would think, maybe this is it...but no, she'd get up again, realizing that it wasn't time quite yet.

Grandma was never one to refuse a good drink, a good cup of coffee or a good book.

She read fiction and non-fiction both, but I remember her best reading histories and biographies, pencil in hand, making notes in the margins. She read books twice in a row, so that she could really get the facts down, reviewing her notes, and drawing conclusions.

She drank coffee all day long, staying up late into the night, and sleeping for most of the morning. As most grandmothers fall asleep earlier and earlier and wake at the crack of dawn, she took the opposite tack. Don't visit Grandma before lunch! She's probably still in bed.

Grandma enjoyed the cocktail hour, and I learned to make her a drink at a young age. Some might think it wrong for a small child serve adult beverages to her grandparents and great-grandparents, but it made me feel very grown-up and special. In recent years, wine was her most-favored potable, but she would try others if offered! On one of the last trips we took together (the whole family, yes 20 of us!) I know she had part of my Margarita, had a Cosmo for herself and tried some of a an Appletini! She bought me a Cocktail cookbook a few years ago, encouraged me to try some different recipes and wanted reports on the findings!

So, here's to a true original, Connie Bronson. Next time you have a cup of coffee, an interesting cocktail or read a good book, think of her. And report on how that drink was...she'd want to know.

6 Things About Me

If you're on Facebook, you've probably seen the "25 Things About Me" posts that people do and then tag others, asking them to do it too. This is peer pressure at it's finest.

Well, I've been tagged several times, but I cannot bring myself to say 25 things about myself. I get to three or four in my head, and then spiral down into self-destructive thoughts of making number five something like, I am 50 pounds overweight and no one will ever love me. Thank you Stewart Smalley.

Ally over at westwagonho.blogspot.com posted six things about herself and tagged me to do it, too. Six seems more manageable than TWENTY-FIVE....

So, here it goes:

1) I am a mother to four, a wife to one and a sister to one.
2) I was an only child for sixteen years and five days.
3) I have an optimistic view of the future. Always. Even when I shouldn't. Things will get better....right?
4) I am a perfectionist. People who know me may think, "Really?" But yes, I am. It paralyzes me. I don't even start many projects because I know I cannot complete them. This is otherwise known as all or nothing thinking.
5) I hated school. K-12. Most of college. I love learning. I just hated the format of school and all the petty social crap.
6) I love being a mother. I'm really glad that I do love it, because realizing that you don't after you've had kids must be a real downer.

Multi-tasking gone wrong?

Headline for this picture?

Local Woman Discovers Time Saving Practice, Making Breakfast While She Showers!

No, alas, here's the true story.

I awoke and realized that I, MOM, was the only person currently awake chez nous. I quickly seized upon the idea of having a shower, alone and uninterrupted. I painstakingly extracted myself from between two sleeping babes, found a robe and slippers and tiptoed downstairs for a cup of coffee. I grabbed the baby monitor from the counter and walked back upstairs to the bathroom. Put down the coffee and went to plug in the monitor. It was then that I noticed, I had failed to get the baby monitor, but had brought the toaster.

In my defense, they sit right beside each other on the kitchen counter, they are both white in color and they both make a buzzing sound.

By the time I'd gone back to the kitchen for the correct item, Henry was awake and my shower remained just a dream.

Home with snow.

I love how a little snow can make everything look better. For instance, you can't see all the kids' toys, that were discarded some time in October, lying on the front lawn. Nor can you see that my once dark blue minivan is now a lovely "road salt gray." Oh I do love Christmas snow! Don't worry I'll be over it by January.

Physical Therapy

I had a reality check Wednesday, when I started physical therapy for my once-broken, now-mended foot.

I apparently have the leg strength of an average 7-year-old.

After I took the strength test, the physical therapist had to go check with a collegue that the machine wasn't malfunctioning. "Could this possibly be right?" she asked. The other PT (also a 20-something cutie) said, "Hmmm, I think so. Do the other leg and see if it's similar." WELL, the other leg (with the afore mentioned broken foot) was only 60% as strong as the first! Does this mean my left leg has the strength of an average 4.2-year-old?

Okay, so maybe I haven't worked out in 2 years. Maybe I haven't done anything at all for the last nine weeks, but come on, I carry a 28 lb boy around all the time. I run up and down the stairs looking for clean laundry, missing Pokemon and my BlackBerry at least 20 times a day.
Does this count for nothing? Apparently.

Excuse me, I hear that 28 pounder crying. I need to use my sadly withered legs to carry my almost 38-year-old ass upstairs.

Grandma's 87th Birthday

The Bronson side of the family all went to the Lucerne Inn for a birthday brunch for Grandma's 87th birthday! Rubie had the camera, and this is what she took...

Halloween is Over...but we had fun!

I went Trick or Treating with Penny Pinkleton (from Hairspray), a cowboy, a princess and Indiana Jones! (and a Jedi Knight, played by my handsome, albeit dorky husband!)

Happy Halloween!

Can you guess which pumpkins were carved (or designed) by which family member?

I have broken my foot.

Going to the store with three kids and a broken foot:

Put one year old and four year old in cart.


Let seven year old have the "special helper" job of pushing the cart. ( I left the ten year old at home.)


Try to keep up with the speedy seven year old, while new at this crutches thing.


Scream, "Stop, there are cars coming!" three times before even reaching the store.


Apologize to all the old ladies who get hit by the cart with the seven year old pushing.


Tell the four year old, "No, you have to stay in the cart. No, you cannot push the cart."


Fail miserably with this, and end up with the four year old, out of the cart, pushing the one year old headlong into a display of canned goods.


Apologize profusely to the store manager.


Ignore the one year old's cries to be carried through the entire check out process.


Finally leave the store, head hung in shame.


Go home and have a big glass of Merlot.


I actually found out today that I don't need a cast. I have a big boot thing on it for the next 5 weeks. I can walk on it, which is really good because the crutches were awful!

Kollman's Krazy Punkins!

The kids have opened a pumpkin selling business! Come on over and get yourself some!

To each child, what they can handle!

I just told Rubie she was "extremely annoying." Great mothering, huh? Fortunately, Rubie is non-plussed by these types of comments....on the other hand, Reggie would go to his room and cry for a day or two if I had said the same to him. Lily would laugh and continue the annoyance; hey, it got her attention! We'll see about Henry...

Lily

Lily is quite a human being! She can belt out a Broadway tune like no 4-year-old I've ever met! She loves to cuddle and to play, but is often quite serious. Being the third in the family, she can compete with the big kids when it comes to getting her way. She doesn't like to pose for pictures, so it's difficult to show what a beautiful girl she is! She also has a very funny way of talking, she sounds like she has a Brooklyn accent!

Reggie

Reggie is a great guy! He loves to hike and his best smiles can be found on top of mountains! He's way too hard on himself, and would tell you that he's not really good at anything (except video games, of course). But, I know him to be a wonderful reader, a very fast runner and a clever puzzle-solver. Reggie would make any mother proud, he's a sensitive and caring 10-year-old boy!

Rubie

Rubie is the sweetest girl. She always rushes to help a sibling in distress, is kind and amazingly generous. However, don't cross her! She has a quick temper and you'll know it if you've upset her!

Henry

This is Henry. Inquisitive, sensitive, sweet, rascally rabbit!

Okay, I'm here...I'm writing something...

Margaret, I just read your blog. I feel ya baby! Some days I don't know how we all live through it.

I will post, I will post......maybe later, Lily is yelling "Mammmmaaaaaa, I can't find any clean underpants!!!!!!!!!"

Spring has sprung!

What a week will do! Last week I was wondering if the snow would ever melt and if spring was really coming! It's here, finally! I'm outside in a short sleeve shirt, yippeeeee!

Sisters can be merciless...

Okay, I was going to post some pics and write something this morning. However, after trying to get my camera's memory card into the slot for about 10 minutes, I discovered that I had removed the camera's battery, not the memory card. So here I was trying to upload my weekend pictures ( a manuever I've done at least 1000 times ) and I could not figure out why the card would not go into the slot. It's the battery, genius...I think it's too early to blog...maybe later...

Hmmmm, A Blog

I've decided to try this blogging thing...I was thinking that maybe it could be like a virtual scrap book, since I have proven abysmal at scrapbooking! ( I think I'm up to November 2004 in a photo album)

I am inspired by the Speidel Family and the EddyBlouins. I have been reading their blogs and now here I am.

Hey Lily, if you kick at that ice long enough, it might actually go away!